- [Tuesday, November 20, 2001] - [11:59 p.m.] - [2 weeks till end of Books] Wow!!! been so long since i wrote here, i wonder if anyone still reads my blogs... ahahah... well it doesn't matter, cuz the one reader i need will alwiz be here. {=o) I am very happy today. I have finished my dissertation!!! woHOoOOoo, now just to face the final exams. It has been a painful 8 months for me. So much rage, despairs, and guilt, i'm about to grow crazy. But now, everything is over, the blue skies begn to show, the birds begun to sing again. Now, when i look back at my life, i feel so..urm...its hard to describe in words, but i will try,...its partially empty, yet there is also some thing worth remembering. Finally i feel acomplished, i think i have reach the level that i am satisfied already, for my first phase in life. Although there is a little delay, but i finally did it.. i feel so close from reaching my goals.

- [Saturday, October 27, 2001] - [11:15 a.m.] - [Moody Alex vs. Woody Allen] Its been a fucked up week for me, HCI last weekm Honours This week! WHere the fuck am i suppose to find all the time??? This is all bull shit! well at least i think i am one, cuz i have not been taking up things seriously until the last minute! Now the suffer part comes in, and i got all moody about it! But i can't blame anyone but my self. My honours is going up in smoke, i havent finish doing my ASPs and i am stuck with the errors!!!1 WHAT THE FUCKKKKK!!!!on thursday, i have spent more than 14 hours figuing out what have i done wrong! Even with a full example i still get the shit right. I feel so guilty each time i log in here just to release my anger. But where am i suppose to release all this if not here? Sigh, As usual, i have not been able to find help to solve my deep shits, i always have to face my own problems, can't anyone out there in the world share mine? Not bragging, i've been really nice to ppl already, mebbe it god's punishment upon me for being a jerk last time, for not believing in him. But he had never answer to any of my prayers, not one, am i supposed to be blamed? This is all crap man, i think i can do this alone, i always have been able, and this will not be the end. So i will be able to do it! YES YOU CAN!!!!!! Yesterday i been so moody cuz i can't get any solution to my problems, so i try to turn away, and do something else, which i woke up this morning feeling utmostly guilty. I think i have matured so much, cuz last time i don't give a fuck about it. I have able to control my anger since i've joined this college, but i do let go alil outburst once a while. Not that just with studies, some other problem came up too, family, life, love. I am really confused now, i do not know am i ready to commit or not. I feel so lonely yet i am so afraid it is just gonna be one of my heat. Family problem it also up to my neck, i feel its so hard to breath. Sometime i just wish i could just die, and leave everything behind, not like there is anything for me to think of anyway. I can say that i've done everything a man could already achive, beside being filthy rich, but its not one of my goals either. Better stop here now before i tell the whole wide world bout shits i shouldn't have.

- [Sunday, October 21, 2001] - [07:42 p.m.] - [BzBZbZBBZbZbBZbBZBz] It is had been a busy week and it will be another bz week to come. Time is just too short for me in a day, It is so stressful to do my degree, shit i just wish that people do not have to do all this crap in order to stay alive in this so fucked up world. Arhsss... i am so full of hate that i can blow any one off if i have a gun. Enough of that crap... i be off now to finish my other assignment now.,.

- [Wednesday, October 17, 2001] - [11:36 p.m.] - [Deep Sheet] Too Bz to write, 1 assignment, one low fidelity, and honours project to finiah by monday... must stay awake to work......must........no time ....to...write....~*bZZzzzt*~

- [Tuesday, October 16, 2001] - [10:04 p.m.] - [PITAS DOWN?] Wow, i been trying to log in 2 consequtive days, but fail to do so...seriously whats happening man? Hah...played diablo alot lately, but i already stated drafting my honours project layout. Finally i did my interviews!!! wohOOo 3 cheers for god ol' ez! I'm so tired of working already, i never been so hardworking for my life, i guess i just takes things too easily last time, hrmmm or mebbe i'm getting old? ahahaha. Heh, saw yu san in the lab yesterday. I was so carried away when we discussed about our Assasins, ahaha we we like telling all the cool stuff with the assasin, and i personally like to watch her ass jiggle when she wears a chain mail...ahaha. Baal was kinda tuff at first, but when u get the hang of it, he is slap stick. Saw Ian yesterday in the lab too, wow, i really forgt all the stuffs i've learned previously. Relly rusty with my SQL, but also manged to help Ian with his assignment, but i really felt bad cuz i din get to help him finish the complex queries. I had my lunch in campus then its already time for class. But i heard that he managed to finish it, and i am glad he did, cuz by this mebbe he can learn how SQL works. I really hope he can do it in the finals too, cuz SQL is shit! especially with Julie! she is a major Biatch, completely. Today is kinda bored, but i managed to watch "Return of the Jedi" in the AV room. ahaha been so long since i watched the show. I just could never get bored with that show. I guess thats why u call it a classic. It is really a great show. I ate nasi lemak with yong and Jon later in evening. Nothing much happens then, as usual we talked some cock, then i head home and reached a knock out till 7. Mood:Like a Cow with ony 2 nipples

- [Sunday, October 14, 2001] - [12:26 a.m.] - [Gosh.....] Has it been so long since i wrote here? i can't seem to remember when ....was the last time i actually wrote here, besides just posting some notes. I really spent too much time in D2,I think i spent 4 days playing d2, and besides school n all, i mange to get my self through till act 5, 2 more last wuest to go. I am amaze how my assasin is coping with all those bashing. I aughta try the druid soon. But after my finals....has to stop spending so much time with games already. Sigh, life is so incomplete, although i been telling my self not to fall for anyone right now, not to get involve with anyone, i really feel down each time i see one of those happy couples cuddle to each other. Why it is always perfect in others's eyes yet it is so fucked up in our own? I hate to admit it, but being with someone require too much responsibilities which don't think i am ready for. The most fuck up part is what is enough? When will i be ready? sigh guess i will never know. Studies is getting fucked up too, most of them got their interviews already, which i don't have any yet. I am really slacking this semester, i guess its because its the last sem for me, so i can't wait till i ditch the books. Another 2 months!!! and i am out for real. What am i to become then, my future is so uncertain. Since the market for IT student si relatively low, i doubt i'll get any job within a month. I think i will work for a while and go travelling abit. I always liked to travel, especially abroad. What i really want is to go Japan, not with agencies... just backpacking around. But where am i to get that much of dough? shit... Mood:Some where between satisfied and empty.

- [Thursday, October 11, 2001] - [10:26 p.m.] - [On a Mission] I'm on a mission, so i'll be missing for a couple of day. I must save man kind within a week. Regulars must be wondering why am i not logging anymore, but i am, i did not quite logging, just that i am currently very bz with saving the human race from the 3 brothers. Memphisto, Baal and Diablo. I must finsh my quest by sunday or i will never get to play again. For 3 days, i have reached "ACT IV"now is thursday nite, and by sunday nite, i should be able to finish the last act. Wish me luck. Condition:Hyper tension.